Portrait of the (wannabe) Artist
I have been sitting here drawing some nude ladies (and some regular portraits of people with clothes), and again, as always, I thought about how much I like just doing that... not only that of course, I love creating a web-site for a client, be it the design or the program. I love drawing a kick-arise hash trash... I loved making that "online greeting card" for Tomoe in England. By far the greatest class I took at UM was the Introduction to Creative Writing course. (I spent more time on this course than any other, and it was the most difficult, and I loved it most, even though I was taking it for no grade) I just feel best when I am creating something, and I especially like creating things visual (more so than a cool program).
It made me think again about seriously studying art or design. Of all things, since I was pre-teen, the one thing that has come up more times as something that I want to study, is art or design. I even have a stack of pamphlets sitting here form art schools in the US that I sent away for three years ago... of course then, I got a job in investor relations, started reading the Wall Street Journal, and got interested in Marketing, so I wanted to go to school for marketing... then of course I joined my current company (to be trained and work in marketing) but wound up being the techie... so I was interested in that and thought about going to school for computer science. It would be interesting, but I am fairly sure that computer science is not "it" for me. And now I am back to art again.
Why did I never study art if I had wanted to since I drew my first (half-finished) comic book about 20 years ago?
1. As a kid, I had the crazy idea that art was only something that "artists" do... and they don't get paid. And they are all dead.
2. No one ever told me I was wrong... in fact, some people re-enforced this notion.
3. None of the schools I went to until college had art courses.
4. By the time I had made it to college, I had gotten way sidetrack by an obsession with learning a foreign language.
5. Once I felt that I knew a foreign language (Japanese) well enough (not really) to get by, I got side tracked by that whole business crap, though I really wonder if that is what I really want because the only reason I can see for having a business, is to create something... preferably visual and somewhat artistic (when it comes to marketing, the most amazing thing is how images control the viewers mind, compelling them to buy)
6. Now that I have come across this again, the major reason I would be afraid to pursue it is that I have spent 27 years already not pursuing it, and am afraid that I am way too far behind.
7. I still want to eat.
I wonder how long I can keep denying myself. Now that I know of course that being an "artist" or "designer" can make some money. Tomoe's father is an illustrator. I have only been to her home town once, but everything I saw in her dad's tiny upstairs office/studio was everything I really thought about so much when I was a kid... but didn't know really existed. I didn't know that you could still create and not be a famous painter. (I really think that MLS (my high-school) needs to get some career day or career counseling other than pastor day)
On the connection they were discussing allowing foreign students verses "homeland security". They had some good points about keeping better track of foreign students, and if they are really going to classes, and there was a psycho who wanted to get rid of all foreign students, but one small thing that I thought was really interesting, was that they talked about taking foreign student's finger prints as though it was no big deal, and in fact is becoming more accepted. I am not opposed to it myself, but what is interesting, is that here in Japan, my first "Gaijin (foreigner) Card" had my finger print on it... but that had been a huge issue for some time... people complained that Japan was treating all foreigners like criminals etc... and now, my new card no longer has a finger print. All that time, though I didn't mind the finger print, I thought that certainly America would never do something so oppressive... but it turns out they have been, and it is accepted.