It Doesn't Get Any Better

It doesn't get any better than this. Waking up early on a sunny (well, today isn't so sunny) morning, cooking some fresh bread for breakfast, a cup of hot tea, Teru Teru Kazoku (don't tell the NHK man), and finally getting the birds ready and walking with Tomoe to the station. She heads off to work, and I continue my walk around the neighborhood with the birds.

I get back home at just about the time I would be arriving at work, get ready to go jogging, grab my camera and hit the jogging path along the kandagawa river. Get back, shower, grab some more tea while I snuggle into my massage chair by the window for my (semi)daily speed-reading training, and once that's done I can get to my work by 1 p.m.. -- and let's not forget being able to listen to NPR with the window open, a spring breeze blowing in, and the birds sunning themselves next to my computer as I work.

Sounds a little lazy I guess... I mean the not starting work until 1 part, and I still have to get over that guilty feeling, having been trained since I was five that the day-time does not belong to me. The light hours are reserved for school and work.

In actuality, I think I feel more stress toward work now than I did before. I seem to spend more time doing it, working much later into the night rather than leaving the office at 6:30, and I don't have the defined boundaries to relieve some of the guilt. Before, even if I knew I had too much to do, I could feel ok in that I was only paid to work eight hours. So long as I was doing my best, if I couldn't fit everything in, I can still go home and feel free to know that I was not breaking any contract or promise. Now however, being paid by the project, I somehow feel that I should be working all the time. If a client calls while I am doing laundry at noon, I feel guilty that I am not sitting at my computer doing their work -even when the project is on schedule. Of course, the nice thing now, is that I own my time again. If I have too much to do, it is my fault, and I have the right/responsibility to reduce my own work-load.

I guess this is all something I have to get used to, but now that I have tasted this lifestyle, I don't know how I could ever give it up for another nine-to-five job where I have no ownership of my own time and life. Maybe that will change though, as I forget what it was like to watch it gradually grow darker through an office window, knowing that another day had just gone by and the only sunlight I saw was on my way to the train station. Maybe I'll forget what it is like to eat real food, because I have a stove to cook lunch and dinner, adn access to fresh veggies. Maybe I'll forget how great it is that I can go to the grocery store any day, not just Saturday, becuase I am not still in the office when it closes. I hope it doesn't happen soon though.

The photos above are of the new leash we bought for the birds. In the beginning they really hated wearing it, and Awii is still pretty stressed out when we put it on him, spending most of his time trying to get out. Klee, on the other hand, is pretty much used to it. Although they both still seem a little frightened outside, once in a while Klee will leave our shoulder to fly around a bit. and if we put her on the ground, she'll do a little exploring.