Stalling

I haven't been out and about lately, so I don't have many photos waiting to go on the site. Now I am just stalling, putting one up at a time.

Somehow I had this fantasy image that I would have July to relax and get ready to move to Sweden. I thought I could get rid of all my stuff, clean the apartment, ride around Tokyo with my camera, walk the birds, meet the people I should meet one last time before leaving... Instead, I have been spending almost every waking hour in front of this dang computer. I really, really, really can't wait to get away from this, get into some new surroundings, and finally be able to put more priority on learning what I want to learn without feeling guilty.

As much as I fully intended to work less on valueless web-sites, instead, learn and produce more value for myself and hopefully others regardless of how much cash is coming in, I keep getting sucked into a trap of guilt, thinking that unless I am making as much cold hard cash as possible, I am somehow lazy and even selfish for not taking advantage of the over-available work that others would kill for. The guy who my company just hired to replace me is actually moving into a small apartment in Tokyo durring the week, while his wife lives in their home over an hour away. Amazing how selfish that can make you feel... here it is a job I gave-up just because I didn't like it, and would rather work from home, and some people are willing to up-root their entire life for it.

I do have some work that will be following me to Sweden as well. It's comfortting in that I don't have to worry about money, but I just hope I can somehow find the will to say "no" when something comes up that I really don't have the time or need for.