I am about to go crazy!!! I just got home from work and I am seething. I got another 'speech' from my boss today. At least I could see is train of thought on this one, although I feel it was waaaaaay off track.

Basically, his wife (a really nice, sweet lady) and I were discussing tomorrow's elementary class. This class is free for all students but really only 4 ever come: three 8-year-olds who have been studying for 1 year or less and one 12-year-old who's been studying for about 8-9 years.

Boss-man got upset when I mentioned that the younger ones' reading level is not very high yet so a listening test with a little bit of reading would be best. He said we should not 'dumb down' the class for the 'slower' kids. We should challenge them! So he chose the Eiken test. This test has lots of idioms and asks questions such as:

Q: How did Jack find the movie?
1. It was quite enjoyable.
2. Tomorrow it will rain.
3. He saw E.T.
4. He went by car.

He ignored my insistance that it may be pointless and perhaps damaging morale-wise for the 3 younger students (who are all actually, pretty exceptional students.)

I agree that a challenge is good but in my opinion, the goal should be attainable. Who gives a first grader a high schooler's exam and expects them come away feeling good about themselves for having challenged it...even though they couldn't get through the first question?

Sigh...anyways, I guess I don't really know if it is really my boss or not. Maybe it's me. Lately, my usually mild mannered temperment has become quite explosive. Ok, not explosive. Maybe implosive is a better word for me.

Just yesterday, Jin mentioned that I've been in a bad mood after playing tennis lately. Why? I love tennis. I like the people in the tennis club. I usually win. Why should I be in a bad mood? Well, for starters, I am feeling really sluggish and fat lately even though I'm excercising more now than I have for almost a year. For the past month I've run 2-3 times per week. I ride my bike at least 7-8 hours per week. I played tennis on the weekend.

Secondly, I don't feel as though I can really communicate with with the people while I'm playing. I can't really make any offhanded comments to my tennis partners or joke around easily. I am tired of thinking about what I say first...Will I offend anyone? Is it correct? If I were playing with friends in America and my teammate screwed up, I'd go off on him/her without a second thought no matter who it was(jokingly of course). In this circle that isn't really acceptable.

That's another thing. Dispite the fact that I'm living in Japan, my Japanese has really gone downhill. I am not taking classes now and basically, the only time I have the chance to speak Japanese is at pottery class, with my bosses wife and with Jin. Jin is also not a native speaker (though he's much better than me) but when I ask him for the correct way to say something he tells me what he thinks...but cannot be positive (I recently picked up a phrase from him that he'd been using often. It turns out that it was a very feminine phrase but he didn't realize it.)

And, to top it all off, I still have not heard from Sweden!!!!!! They told me unofficially that I've been accepted but to wait for the official news. That was about 3 weeks ago. I need to get roling. The deadline for University dormitory applications is June 15 but I can't fill out an application without official proof. I am hoping to use frequent flyier miles to get there in August but it's cutting it close now. It's a $1600 flight.

I am going crazy. I don't really like complaining but recently, that seems like the only thing I can do. I feel sorry for Jin who has to listen to it since he's the only person around here I feel comfortable letting myself go around.

미안 오빠. (맞지요?)