obligatory

archives

recent

Can't do it alone


I'm afraid that what I write is systematically growing more boring, a little too introspective, looking too much at myself. Maybe that's why my readership is dwindling (or maybe it's simply because there are less photos). It's hard to take a step back and look at the "big picture" because my thesis now is focused on individuals' perceived role and power in creating a sustainable world. The individual I know most intimately is myself, and I keep reverting back to me. Everything I am asking the subjects of our thesis, I am asking myself.

In many ways, I think that my real question, the reason I came here, is less about how we can make a fair, sustainable culture that I can be proud of, and more about how realistic or possible it is. I guess I think that if I can figure out what my role would be in such a world, and how I can meet my needs without screwing everyone else, then I can have hope. If, however, I realize that the only way for me to meet my needs now is to destroy our future, then I don't feel I have any right or reason to ask others to try.

So, do I think it is possible? I really can't say yet. Theoretically, yes it is possible. I can see a vivid image how my life could be totally different, and totally un-reliant on fossil fuels, persistent chemicals, destruction of natural ecosystems, and slavery. Do I think it is possible for me to live that life? The jury is still out. While I can't say I have much hope, I haven't given up yet. But the one thing that is sure is that I can't do it alone.

Sure, if I want to live fossil-fuel free, I can sell my computer and move back to the land and hope I survive. That really wouldn't prove anything though, because if the rest of society is still screwing up, I'm going to be effected because no matter where I go, we, the earth, all people, all species are all connected. And I certainly wouldn't expect everyone to follow suit even if there was enough land to make it realistic. If I want to live a life that does not violate every one of the principles and values I have grown up with, and if I am to do it as a member of society, it has to be a society where living such a life is possible.

That said, I think too many people jump right to the consultant role without trying to consult with themselves first. I am still at a place where I have to prove to myself that it is possible, by doing the things I can realistically do now and still be a part of society, by pushing the boundaries of what I consider realistic. This whole year has been about creating an action plan for myself, and it is almost complete. Maybe soon I will feel ready (or be forced) to try to change others as well. The only thing I can do now is to ask people to think about and test themselves and their own boundaries and beliefs along with me.

Comments about Can't do it alone


recent galleries

2005.01.03
2004.12.18
2005.01.28
2005.01.17
2004.12.24
2004.12.11
2004.11.30